Added: Thavy Leath - Date: 10.04.2022 21:04 - Views: 32344 - Clicks: 8825
My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home from work, fixed dinner for my son and we played for a while. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet. I set up my boy with a video and head to the site of my demise, um, I mean bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg or wherever and ignore the frantically rising crescendo of string instruments in the background. No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? So I pull one of the thin strips out. I go one better: I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees.
Cold wax, my ass.
Oh, how that phrase will come back to haunt me. I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! With my next wax strip, I move north.
After checking on the boy and verifying that he was, in fact, becoming one with Bear and learning all about smells, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right ass cheek.
Yeah,it was a long strip. I inhale deeply. I brace myself. Blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh crap.
Another deep breath. Everything is swirly and tie-dyed? Do I hear crashing drums? OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my trophy — my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold medalist. But why is there no hair on it?
Why is the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on the strip? Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I see hair — the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am touching wax. I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Sealed shut.
Your head just might pop off. Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I get in the tub — the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment. And I sit. Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax. I call my friend, C, because she once dropped out of beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin.
She does her best to suppress laughter. I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call the on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax actually is. Boy, nothing feels better to the girly goodies than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off! In the middle of the conversation which has inexplicably turned to other subjects! I find the little, beautiful saving grace that is the lotion provided with wax to remove the excess. I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair is still there.
So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that point anyway.
And then I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet. Never know when a moustache might start to come in. Tonight, I attempt hair dying. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Built using WordPress and the Mesmerize Theme. Adam Bernard. Tales of a Modern Man. Adam Bernard Funny Latest February 2, 0. I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire! Search for:.Funny story about lady waxing
email: [email protected] - phone:(100) 992-8515 x 4025
Funny Waxing Horror Story